The Worst Vacation I Ever Had

By JLB

The worst vacation I ever had began in July 2003 and ended in February 2004. It was way too long. I had to live in a camper for 6 months. I had to travel through deserts. I camped in the middle of nowhere many times, way too many times.
I had such a bad time. I had to go through North and South Dakota, they are so boring. I had to sit in the back seat of a pick up truck all the way through both states and the back seat is tiny and cramped and it was horrible. And in North Dakota we found some fire works and we were launching them. Then the sheriff came and yelled at us and told us that you can’t launch fire works in North Dakota except on the Fourth of July, which we didn’t know because we’re from New York. When we were driving down the highway we heard a crash and when we looked in the rear view mirrors we saw the window flying off the camper.
We lost our cell phone in Washington State. We stopped at a rest stop and my dad put it on the back of the truck and forgot about it and we were 100 miles away when he remembered it. In Northern California we stopped at a camp ground and when we knocked on the manager’s door he growled “nobody’s home” and the place looked pretty bad any way so we left quickly and never turned back. There was a forest fire in Central California so we had to leave there quickly too. The smoke chased us all the way to the desert.
I got stung by a scorpion at Slab City, California. Some friends and I were launching some fire works off some sand dunes. We were going to blow up this little plastic dude but we ran out of fire works so two of my friends went to get more, while my other friend and I waited. He decided to bury the plastic dude in the sand and when I was digging him back up I dug up a scorpion that had buried it self in the sand and it stung me.
We went to Las Vegas and my dad drove us around to all the pawn shops looking for a cell phone. The whole time I thought we were going to get mugged. At the last shop, I was sitting in the truck with the window down -bad idea- some drunken bum came over to my window, mumbled a bunch of stuff at me and walked away. I rolled up my window as quick as possible. Then my dad came out, got in, started driving and said something about the cashier pulling a gun out from under the counter because some other guy was complaining about something.
The whole trip was horrible. We got stuck in a snowstorm on a mountain for three days. The camper got trapped under some branches that the snow had weighed down and the rangers at the camp grounds had to climb up and get the snow off because the tree was “government property” so we couldn’t touch it.
We were in a desert for Christmas and New Year’s Eve. It was the worst Christmas ever. The pipes froze and we didn’t have water. We sat in the camper for most of the holiday. We went to some crazy people’s house for New Year’s Eve and it was the worst New Year’s party ever. It’s the only New Year’s party I ever went to that I was glad to go “home” from early.
We went to Louisiana and camped in a swamp for a week. While we stayed there we went to New Orleans and sat and listened to some time share people for 2 hours and then we went back to the swamp. When my brother was riding his bike the chain broke and that was the last working bike we had, because when we entered Louisiana the bike rack fell off the back of the camper and our mountain bikes got smashed.
For my birthday we were in Alabama. It was a dull birthday the most exciting thing that happened was when two dogs chased my brother and me up the jungle gym. We sat up there for an hour before the dogs went away. One good thing that happened was that I got enough money to buy a Game Cube but no store from Arizona to Pennsylvania had one so I couldn’t get one.
These are the absolute worst things that happened on my trip. I’m not even going to get into the merely bad stuff. That’s why this was the worst vacation I ever had.

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